Geared toward professional medical exam

5 more days before Hari Raya aidilfitri celebration. During fasting month, KKM and people used to refer it to "Kementerian Kuat Makan", not many meetings being conducted. Therefore, I have more free time so called, to teach the medical students especially from the CUCMS. I hope it is the correct short form. I have difficulty in remembering that. Well, it doesn't really matter. I have the last group for this semester before they sit for their professional exam this October. They have been with me before but not specifically the 6 of them in my group. Sharmila, Nadhila (always mistaken with Dhalila), Reen, Shamson (so difficult to pronounce his name and I called him Simpson instead), Zaimi and Khairuddin whom I called Kay. I can see the girls were more proactive, energetic and geared for the exam but not the men. I am not sure whether it is due to fasting month or something else. I hope someone will kick their butts to be more focus and prepare for the coming exam. I guess, girls are doing better than men. I am saying this not because I am a woman or I am sexist, but majority of them from my observation either from CUCMS or UPM, girls are better. Sharmila, she is a funny girl, but very brave and trying her very best to achieve the standard that we wanted. Same as Nadhila. Nadhila still unsure and worry to say or voice out her views. Reen is a quiet girl. I know she knows about many things but too difficult to find the right words to express her opinion. The boys are followers. Zaimi, I think he is thinking in Malay and translated it to English during his presentation. No doubt English is our second language, in medicine, you have no choice. We have to speak English. My English too is not so good but I speak with my family members in English so that I will get better and better. I was from a malay medium school before in so remote kampung school. Used to get so depressed when I couldn't find the right words to say. But, with great determination, perseverance and believing in own self, I managed to improve my English. Now, I can deliver lectures in the international congresses without problem. When my children were still in the primary and secondary school, I used to create an English week at home where everyone have to speak English. If they did speak Malay, their pocket money was cut off. It was so funny because during the so call English week, the house was so quite. Very minimal conversation could be heard. They were using sign languages. Later, when they became more confidence, with the encouragement from the aunties and uncles, alhamdulillah, their English are not so bad after all. So nothing is impossible as long as you asked for it and go for it. It just need a little bit of commitment in whatever you do. Take every matters seriously and you will succeed.

Patriotic thought

Today is our country's independent day. Merdeka! merdeka! merdeka! I thought I want to take leave yesterday because I want to sit down and feel the meaning of merdeka. "Nak menghayati rasa kemerdekaan". But I changed my mind and cancelled leave because I have students to teach. It is more important to me. At the same time I still can continue to be patriotic. Due to Hari Raya holidays, there will be not enough time for them to prepare before the final exam. Teaching is absolutely tiring. When I came back in the evening, I missed my tarawih prayer due to exhaustion. I went to sleep early. I hope whatever I taught my students yesterday will help them in their coming exam and identify their deficiencies. From my opinion, minimal improvement is still an improvement. Take it as a challenge.

Basically, what I want to say is all about yearly event that we celebrated, month of August, merdeka month. I am very proud to be born here. Even though, originally, my great grandfather and grandfather came from Sumatra, Indonesia. My Dad this year 2010 already 90 years of age and he was born here. Feeling of love for Malaysia was stressed on me by my Dad. He, those days generation definitely know what "Merdeka" really mean. He went through a lot and managed to see the changes in our country before and after independence. From my opinion, merdeka means that you are free in your thinking process, free to express your feeling and free to do anything at all that beneficial to you and to others, as long as you are not going away from the right principles based on our culture, religion and values. Last Saturday, on the way to Selayang, I didn't see many "jalur gemilang" waving in front or on top of the commercial buildings along the road. A few houses did have "jalur gemilang". This scenery is so much different from Dr.M era as a Prime Minister. During that time, even though we were asked to put "jalur gemilang", but we put it up anyway because we did feel proud to do so. Now, people don't respect our "jalur gemilang" anymore. I am not talking about other people but Malaysian themselves. They don't even bother to put up our flag in the month of August. Our leaders don't really put stress on it. People take it very likely. That the reason why Indonesian dare enough to do all sort of terrible things to our "jalur gemilang", the pride and the maruah of our country. All Malaysian do nothing about it. We just sit back and be patience. The Indonesian government couldn't care less. If they think that our relationship with them means so much to them, they should have done something about it. However, they did nothing. Our children should be reminded all the time on the importance of "merdeka day". They feel so complaisant with the life style that they have. Today, my hospital, organised by the O&G department celebrating the merdeka babies that delivered in our hospital. I guess, the parents should be the one, responsible to instill the feeling of love to this country so that they don't forget the root.

Current medical students - the way I see

I left my medical school for almost 24 years now. I still remember my lecturer taught me about pathogenesis of many diseases in reference to the normal physiology and function of specific organs. They taught me to be critical and analytical about every single problems. All the time we were reminded that not everything in medicine is definitely 100% correct. Some of the cases are straight forward and you can make the diagnosis or conclusion almost immediately. However, some of the problems tend to be a little bit complicated that require your ability to formulate and putting a serious thought into it based on your knowledge, experience and your readings to come up with the nearest possible answer. This is where the arguments and discussions are important. Obviously, at the end of the day, you will get the final diagnosis after specific test or gold standard test performed. The process of getting to the final diagnosis require a flexibility in thinking and the student must be able to reason it out to support their argument. That's the reason why in the medical school, first thing that you need to learn during your clinical years is taking a history from the patient followed by physical examination. Occasionally, you don't need to do any investigations to confirm the diagnosis. 95% you will be able to make a correct diagnosis after history taking and physical examination. All the student should develop the skill in getting relevant informations from patient and confirm it with physical examination to further strengthened the evidence. A doctor is just like the CSI officer who are trying to gather all the evidences and come up with the most possible diagnosis. It is an interesting process. Some of the diseases have overlapping clinical features and biochemical derangement, but you need to choose the most likely diagnosis. Of course, if we can do a specific test for the confirmation, finally we will get the right diagnosis. In order to go through these processes, we have to strengthened our basic knowledge on physiology, pathology, biochemistry and not to forget human anatomy. I always reminded my students on the basic things in medicine. We have to remember everything that we have learned in the early years of medical school. In order to recognise abnormalities, we have to know the normality first. Otherwise, we can't make any conclusion out of it. It is not an easy task. Students nowadays, are very poor in applying knowledge to patient. All of them are so call 4 flat students. They read a lot but unable to identify the relevancy of such informations to the patients. They have tunnel vision. Their arguments and discussion on certain diseases are very immature. Overlapping of symptoms and clinical signs are too much to handle. They easily get confused. Mind you, they are 4 flat students. Worse still if they don't have interest in the subject or in medicine. They do medicine for different purposes. Peer pressure or parents pressure. I take final year medical students from the public as well as private universities. They are equally bad but the public university do slightly better.....It is worrying situation. Probably, we need to look back at the presence curriculum or something have to be done. We have seen the prove from the quality of housemen that we have nowadays. The quality of our doctors are deteriorating, not only in skill but in knowledge, soft skill and attitudes. How much we specialists in the government hospitals can teach and guide them in 4 months posting if their basic medical knowledge is almost 0%. It is a tough job.......good luck to all of us ...

My children that I adore so much

Over the years, I wish to have one big family like my parents. There are nine of us, 4 boys and 5 girls. But when it comes to me, I only managed to get 2 of my own, double joy, a twin girls that colour my life. I had two abortions after the twins. I pray to God all the time, to give me two sons to replace my two abortions that I had. I was waiting for so long for the moment of truth. God answered my prayer. Instead of giving me 2, HE gave me 3 sons. Even though God gave me the over grown sons, I love them like my own. Of course, all my sons have their biological parents but I love and care for them like my own. I will make sure that they become successful in their life. Share my wisdom and be there for them when I am needed. They are lovely children. I am truly blessed. I don't really care what people say about having over grown sons. What important to me is, my happiness and their success. I have plenty of love to be given away. Rather than waste it, make as well give it to someone that you love and care, my children. Not to forget my nieces and nephews that I love and care too. Let me introduce you to my children. The beauty about them is, there are not the same including my twin girls. Just imagine, I have to deal with five characters and five taste of things. It was fun. All five of them are already grown up. Eldest among all is Along (Dee) followed by Aniep, Aiman and the twins. If you see them, you can imagine how close they are. They shared a lot of things together. They care about each other. They behave like they are "true" siblings. That's what I wanted anyway. Probably, many people won't understand and won't know how deep their relationship is.Only me and them know. If you see them, you will see how close they are. As far as I am concern, they are my children. As I mentioned before, when I decided to do good to people, I will never look back. I am throwing a stone remember, into the ocean and not throwing a boomerang. I will tell you about them .....sometimes...

When you do good to others - don't look back

I have many friends, closest to me and far away from me. Not to forget, my family members who always be there for me in every situation and circumstances without prejudice. I learned a lot from them. They have different characters and different ways in expressing their feelings and views. Of course, I have my own ways. The way I see, the way I acted and my views on certain things are very much influenced by the way I was brought up by my beloved mum and dad. It is also derived from my own experience as well as from my readings. Definitely, genetic configuration also play an important part in my life. However I am blessed because I think I have more of my Dad rather than my Mum. My siblings admitted it too. My mum is a very fierce lady and sharp but of course she has a lot of positive values that she taught my siblings and me during our childhood days especially how to respect people older than you as well as your brothers and sisters. No matter how terrible your brothers and sisters treating you, no matter how serious the argument is, or so much different views we had on certain matters, at the end we are still one family and should love each other. Your family will come first before anything else. I absolutely agreed with my mum on that matter. My dad used to say to me that when you want to help or do good to people, do it sincerely. You shouldn't do it for names or recognition. If you already did it, you don't have to mention about it all the time, again and again on how good you are. As a doctor, a profession that my Dad taught when I was in primary school when he mentioned it to me, is the best profession for me, for sure I have done a lot of good things to my patients, for my friends and many more. Not to forget my students. Well, I definitely don't want to hurt or causing any trouble to anyone. I love to help anyone in needs. When I do good things to people I will never look back or mention about it because if you start to talk about it, it is no longer relevant as I see it. Doing good to others, the way I see it is like throwing a stone into an ocean and not like throwing a boomerang. Why I say that because if you throw a stone into the ocean, no matter how hard you try to discover it, you will not be able to find it. The stone is too small in comparison to the big ocean. Whatever the good things you do, in the eyes of God, it is just a small thing compared to the wealth and good health that HE, almighty gave us. Furthermore, don't do good the way you throw a boomerang where you are expecting something in return. If you do good things to people the way you throw a boomerang, make as well don't do it. No one is forcing you anyway.....the way I see it..

Merdeka! merdeka!! merdeka!!!

This year, 2010 is a busy year. As a doctor, we were warned by the Selangor State Director of Health on the outbreak of dengue in Selangor. We, in the paediatric are well prepared for the circumstances of many admissions to the ward. But the most exciting about 2010 is fasting month falls in the month of August, our merdeka month. Month for you to be more patriotic in your thinking and act. We love our country very much the way we love ourselves. All of us should, if we call ourselves a Malaysian. This year, we are going to celebrate our 53rd merdeka year. During this period of time, our leaders keep on changing depending on the election result. Whatever it is, all of our leaders, their aim is almost the same, trying their very hard to bring up Malaysia to the eye of the world. It is just the methods and approaches that they used are different. They want to maintain the stability and improve the economy of the country. Different leaders have different styles and vision as well as mission. Under this current leader, we are talking about One Malaysia or Satu Malaysia where the motto is "rakyat diutamakan, pencapaian didahulukan. I read in the newspaper about this concept. I don't really get it till now. My view is, I think all of our previous leaders have the same mission. It is just that, it was not written on paper. Any development they make, is for people of this country. Us. We, as the citizen of our beloved country, Malaysia enjoy all the good things that our leaders have done. Of course, if we want to do anything, we will do something that is achievable. Don't waste our time trying to achieve something impossible to achieve at this current time because after spending so much of money, time, effort and resources, at the end of the day, all the these will go into the drain. A lot of money will be wasted which are people's money.

I want to share my view about language. 53 years merdeka, it is not a short period of time. There are many changes were made to improve our education level in this country. We read in the newspaper, several changes need to be done to achieve the best educational status of the people. I don't know whether we are progressing well or regressing. Lets talk about Malay language, our national language. During my primary and secondary school, all the students, Malay, Chinese and Indian could speak malay very well. I have many friends from other races in school as well as in my village. We were so close with each other. No worries. Now, when it's come to my children, they have no opportunity to have friends from different races except 1 or 2 that they met in the boarding school. Even when they entered university, they don't really know how to make friend with their colleagues from different races. I really pity them. Some of them can't even speak Malay well despite being accepted to the university. Well,I am saying not all of them. When we talk about national language, we expected all of these students should be able to speak well in bahasa. My daughter said to me one day "Ibu, I really got fed up with my group because they speak Chinese among them selves during the discussion just because they are the majorities in my group. How about us, me and my Indian friend. Why can't they speak the language that everyone can understand". To some people, probably this is a small matter but to me it is an issue. This is happening everywhere I guess. What has gone wrong?. Well, we are free to speak whatever language we want but when it's come to the group discussion, we should know what bahasa we should be using so that everyone can understand. Insensitivity like this basically developed from the primary and secondary school. Here, we are talking about one Malaysia. Together, we are one. I thought, with the development of good school curriculum, this scenario won't happen. Bahasa Melayu is the national language and it should be the duty of all Malaysian, if you call yourself Malaysian, to learn. I meant all of us. English is the second language, so learn it by hard.

Let me tell you a story. Recently, there was a Chinese boy, 8 years old admitted to my ward. He was suspected to have leukemia. He was such a lovely boy. He understand Malay and English well but can't say the words. We were having problem with the mother because we wanted to explain to her about the child's condition and the plan for him, we could not do it because she said "tak pandai Melayu dan tak pandai olang putih". I asked her"sikit-sikit boleh tak atau kita cakap dengan suami". She said,"suami kerja". Then, I looked around to find my houseman. I have two Chinese HO. So, I call the first one to explain to the mother the situation of the child. To my surprise, she can't speak mandarin or any other Chinese languages. I call the second HO. Initially, I didn't want to call him because I didn't trust him at all to convey the message to the mother. I was worried that he would gave a wrong information. However, I had no choice. True enough, after the explanation done by my second HO, the mother requested to go home with the child. I talked to the mother again in Malay and persuaded her to stay for the sake of the child. I called my medical student, the last resort, a Chinese to talk to the mother to make her understand the situation, but to my disappointment, he also couldn't speak Chinese. "shame on you" I scolded my student. The mother is a young mother. I reckon she must has gone to school because she was reading a Chinese newspaper and magazine. 53 years of independent and yet we still have this scenario. What had went wrong? Whose fault is this? Which direction are we heading for? We are no here no there. By right, anyone who are born here should know at least 2 languages. One, their mother tongue language and the other one is our national language which is Bahasa Melayu. Is it so difficult to speak bahasa? If yes, why the Nepalist or the Bangladeshies or even the Chinese foreigners can speak bahasa only in a few months they are here in our country, but not us, who are born, eat, work and stay here for the rest of our life. I wonder.......??!!

Making the right choice

I love to share with my children and others what I have read in the book. Previously, I have no time to read other books than medical books. Now, I have a little bit of extra time, I want to improve my knowledge on the moral, social and emotional aspect of life. I want to improve myself in many areas that I feel a lot of deficiencies. I want to be a better person than what I am now. I want to do good to people who need my help because I know that the greatest good you can do for others is not to share your riches but to reveal to him or her his/her own. When we treat people with respect, indirectly we help them to gain confidence and reveal their inner potential. Everyone has the potential to become great or someone successful provided they believe in themselves and look at things in a positive manner. I remembered one quote by Lao-tzu saying "Knowing others is intelligent. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength and mastering yourself is true power". I really like this quote because I do believe that we have to know ourself first. Of course, knowing people around you is a bonus because it will help you to develop your inner power and determine your purpose. However, some of us rely too much on other people to make decision for us. Before he'she venture into something or making the most important decision in his/her life, rather than asking themselves what exactly they want, they will ask other people first, not really for opinion but asking others to make decision for them. Remember, mastering yourself is true power. Power doesn't have to show off. What its mean by power here is self confident, self-assuring, self-starting, self-stopping, self-warming and self-justifying. You will know when you have it. Most of us will be thinking "what people will say if I do this". We are trying very hard to please others rather than trying to please ourselves first. We should know what best for us. We are suppose to learn from people around us and decide what is the best for our future and not allowing the external forces to influence our decision. That was my advice to my niece Syimah sometimes ago when she was in great dilemma whether to do her master in US or to do master on the job. She asked many people for advice. Of course, she got many version of advices and opinions until at the end of the day she was still blur. Even worse when some of the remarks that she received from various people make her feel sad and miserable. She was still unable to choose which one to follow. Pressure all around and every corners of her. When she told me her problems and frustration, she was crying. At that time I knew that I have to do something about it. I gave my version of advice of course. Well, I am a very simple lady. I told her, it was up to her whether she want to follow my advice or vise versa. Thank God, being a smart girl, she made the right decision to continue working here and declined the offer to go abroad to further her study. She does her master locally as part time student. Now, she is in the second year and she is doing very well. It is tough but if she believe in herself, she will get what she wanted, insyaallah. I wasn't sure whether I told her or not that intelligent is just like a river. The deeper it is, the less noise it make. Just do whatever you think is right. Do you know 18/40/60 rule. I read about this rule somewhere, I can't remember. What it mean is "when you are 18, you are worry about what people thinking of you; when you are 40, you don't give a darn what anybody think of you; when you are 60, you realise that nobody's been thinking about you at all. So, don't waste your time trying to please others. Everything you do should be an expression of your purpose or destiny.