Rabu, 2 Februari 2011

Friendship - Does it means something to you?

I still remember what Kak Zila, my bestest buddy and friend said to me many years back about true friend. A true friend is someone who will remember you always, be there for you either during good time or bad time, share your sadness and give you a shoulder to cry on and not only remember to say hello to you because they need help or a favor from you. I am bless to have so many true friends that care about me even though we only meet occasionally. We understand each other very well and our commitment to our work that preventing us from seeing each other more often. I would like to share with you a story of my life in the opening year of a Rabbit. The incidence really make me sad and felt being betrayed by my own friend and colleague. I wouldn't say that she is my true friend but I have known her for 10 years and treated her son who has neurological problem since his infancy. Currently, her son is 11 years old. Being a friend, and now working together in the same organisation, anytime when she need help, I will try to accommodate her request. Sometime, I received a phone call from her or her husband during odd hours including middle of the night when I was not on duty. Even though sometimes, when my clinic was so busy but when she asked for help, I still make time for her and family with the thought that she is my friend whom that I know for so long. Basically, I am treating all her children who have allergic disease and asthma including her own self. Well, I don't really mind because these are the only thing that you can do for someone that you know who needed help and furthermore she is my friend, my own colleague. I treated her family sincerely like my own. I know her character all these years. Due to that, she is a loner. Many people cannot get along with her. Furthermore , she is only make friends with someone who will give her benefits. I don't really bother about it because as a doctor, I treat all children that need treatment from me and will not take into consideration the attitude of the parents. But, for your information, all of the parents of my patients are wonderful parents. Many time when others talk bad things about her, I normally back her up and explained to them why she was behaving in that notorious manner until they always address her as "Norra, that's your good friend" in cynical manner when she passed by. Not only me that she used to ask for help, my other fellow colleagues in the department. All of us basically tried to accommodate her need sincerely. She used to talk to me about how she and her son were badly treated by other doctors in the other government hospitals. Basically all the hospitals that she had attended. Infact, from KB to Selangor including Hospital Kota Bahru, Hospital Kubang Kerian, Hospital Alor Setar, Hospital Selayang, IPHKL, Hospital Putrajaya and Hospital Serdang. She worked in all of these hospitals before and got monthly salary to support her family. None of the doctors in these hospitals managed to satisfied her for whatever reasons that I believe I know why now. Even she showed me the complaint letter that she sent to KSN against the hospital staffs. I looked at the letters with an open mind because I knew her background. She believe that the only doctor that really has a professional conduct is her. She really believe that she is the only one working with sincerity and put the patients' interest first before her or her family. Anyway, all of us know her attitude and deficiency but we didn't make any complains to KSN or DG or Menteri or any outsiders because we are considering that she is one of our colleague and we don't want to cause her any problems or give bad name to our beloved hospital. Whatever problems our hospital have as a result of her inefficiency, the trouble that she created with her subordinates, our director will settled them internally. I remember one day, my close friends asked me,"Norra, how could you tolerated this kind of people, she is crazy, mad and rude. If I were you, I won't get near her. She is pain in the neck". I replied,"well, I don't really look at her or her husband but I am concern about her son. I guess, I don't loose anything in helping her". To make the story short, her action recently towards me and all of my colleagues in the department is beyond my expectation thinking that we are friends. Obviously she couldn't care less about friendship at all. Friendship mean nothing to her. The only thing in her mind is how to use her son condition for her own benefit. I don't understand why the husband allowed her to do this to her friends and her child. We, as a government servants, we have to follow certain ethics and conduct and need to act professionally. Her accusation toward all of us in the department was beyond limit. Similar complain that she wrote toward all the doctors in Hospital Putrajaya. She showed me the letter before. I just couldn't believed all the things that she wrote in the letter because I know most of the doctors concerned, personally. However, I just looked at it and said nothing. Recently, her son was admitted to my ward. She was being treated by my staffs and doctors very well thinking of her position in the hospital and most of them know her. Even, I have warned all my staffs earlier about her personality and attitude and advice them to comply with her demand and not to say anything. They obeyed my instruction even though they were treated badly by her. She used nasty words and interfered with the management until my staffs couldn't do their work properly. My staffs voiced out their unhappiness toward the unprofessional conduct of "this friend of mine" and wanted to write a memorandum of complaint against her to our director. I advice them not to do it until I discussed that matter with the hospital director. At that time, I felt that it was inappropriate to do such thing to your own colleague. However, as expected, I knew that my department will get a complain letter from her because she took AOR discharge from my ward. She wrote nasty things against me and my staffs which we knew that she was lying. As aresult of her complain letter, all my staffs and I, the hospital director and his deputy, have to prepare a report within 24 hours. Our KSN and DC wanted it. We have to reschedule our clinic, meeting and our clinical work in the ward just to write an explanation letter. The quality time that we should spend to treat our patients was wasted. The hassle and the heartache that we have to go through. The situation really make me feel so sad and devastated. It took me a few days to get over it. Not only me but all the staffs that involved in managing her son in the ward. Lucky we have all the support from various people right up to the state level because most of them know this lady very well and this is not the first time. Even, we received full support from my private colleagues that involved in managing her son when she left our hospital. She has been telling everybody that KKM must pay her the amount of money that she asked for long time ago in making her son to be an OKU child. The amount that she had received wasn't enough. She always address her son as OKU child but all of us address her son by his name. We don't need to say that the child is an "OKU child" because it is very obvious and we know his medical problems and we don't think there is the need to do so. I guess KKM should investigate her and look into her medical illness. This women need help. She is mentally sick and disturb. Her mind is not sound. She need a psychiatrist and psychologist assessment as well as counselling. With all the nasty words that she has thrown to me and my staffs, I am not keeping it in my heart. What I am going to do is, learn from this situation, keep my eyes open, to be more careful in choosing a friend. One of my good friend used to say to me,"Norra, be careful. The leopards will not change their spots". I really do sympathized with her and her husband especially the son. The other two children of hers, from my observation and interaction with them, they are now behaving just like her, oohh goshh...beyond description. May God bless her family.