The last time I opened this blog was last year. My niece asked me several time why I didn't write anything in it. Well, it is not an easy task because I have to do it in between my busy schedule. Time fly so fast without you knowing it. It was almost a year. I do know that if you want to do something and wanted to wait for the perfect time, there will be no perfect time. There will be no tomorrow. Just do it. Otherwise, nothing is done. Many successful people in their carrier follow the principle of "READY, FIRE AND AIM" rather than the usual phrase " READY, AIM AND FIRE". What it means is that if you want to do something or anything and you already have all the things you need, just fire. If you failed to hit your target, what you need to do is try to make necessary changes so that when you fire for the second time, hopefully you will hit the target. However, if you decided to aim first rather than fire, probably you will end up aiming to the target for a long long time trying to get the perfect time and direction to shoot. We know, there will be no perfect time or perfect situation. All the time, we need to make adjustment and changes because world around us keep on changing. Of course, the changes that we make should bring us benefit. Based on these principles, all of us should make the best use of time and we need to live each moment as if it is vitally important.
Flash back to the time when I first reported as a HO in the second largest government hospital down south. My father and I took a train to Johore. To cut short the story, I reported duty as a HO to the Hospital Director. At the administration office, I met a few of my university's friends reported on the same day. Initially I was so worried but with my friends around with the same motives, I felt a little bit relief. The Hospital Director was a nice lady. Give us a lengthy lecture on the regulations, the role of the HO, our responsibilities and tasks that we had to do. I was posted to the O&G department with 4 other HOs from various universities. Out of 5, only one man. Together we went to the department to report to the HOD. He looked at us. Never smile. Told us our duty and responsibilities. Advised us to work together as a team. Not to forget to welcome us to the department. At that point of time, my carrier as a junior doctor began.
My God, it was hard and tough. I started my day in the hospital at 7.00 am. First thing in the morning was blood taking. I felt that I was the vampire. The different was I didn't drink the blood. There were 2 of us to take care of 40-45 patients. Thank God, I have a wonderful partner. We work together. He was the senior HO in the Gynae ward. I am very grateful to him because he taught me a lot. He taught me how to do my work fast and how to remember the names of all the ladies in the ward. That was not enough. We had to remember their age, how many pads they used, how many of the pads soaked with blood and so on. The consultant will get angry if we didn't know our patients well. We were not supposed to look into the BHT for information. Every morning rounds, when I heard the foot step of my consultant, I felt my heart stopped beating. My hand shaking. The eyes of the specialists and consultant like a sharp knife to my heart. I knew they meant well to teach me and encouraged me to know my patients well because patient - doctor relationship have to develop so that the patient trusted me to treat them. We have to show that we care. We also needed to show to patients that we are safe doctors. But it was hell.
I did 10 to 12 calls per month. When I was on-call, I only managed to sleep 2-3 hours at night. That was good enough. Sometimes no sleep at all. I had my dinner very late at night when the food already iced cold. I lost a few kilos that I gained during holiday. in a way. good for me. At that time, there was no proper place or room to rest if we had no patients to see. I still remember that I had to sleep in the store with all the equipments around me. In the store, there were 3 beds for the doctor on-call to sleep if we have time. If you were lucky, all three doctors were girls. You didn't have to sleep with male doctors. I was always unlucky. Several times, I had to sleep with male HOs in the "store". I felt scared but I had no choice. I used to remind them not to do anything funny. I knew, my friends HO were nice people. Furthermore more, we were so tired to think of anything else except to sleep as soon as we could. Time was so precious. We didn't want to waste time. After 3 months in Gynae ward, I was sent to work in labour room. I did a shift duty with another HO, 12 hours shif duty, 7.30 am to 7.30 pm and 7.30 pm to 7.30 am. The shif changed after 2 weeks.
Another priceless experience that I went through went I wast in the labour room. I can tell you, the teacher who taught me how to conduct normal delivery was the nurses. They were excellent. They taught me how to do episiotomy and stitch correctly. That year was a dragon year. Many Chinese wanted to deliver in that year. The labour room was very busy but I enjoyed working with the dedicated nurses there. They helped me a lot in my work. I learned so much from them. The specialists just taught me to perform instrumental delivery. Assisted them in the OT. I remembered clearly that one of the specialist, I don't know whether intentionally or unintentionally cut my hand with a scappel blade while assisting her when she did LSCS just because I was so slow to do the traction. That was my first LSCS. She didn't say sorry or said anything at all. God only knows how I felt that time. I didn't make any remarks or comments. I took it as learning experience. My friends asked me to report to the HOD but I decided not to do it because I was scared that she will make my life miserable in the department. What I enjoyed most during my O&G posting was the closeness that I have with the medical officers and nurses. The beautiful moments that we shared and the great moment together I will never forget. Working together, do it sincerely and love what you are doing are the main factors that make me what I am today. Frankly speaking, despite having to work so under stress situation, I did enjoy my O&G posting. You have to be proactive and willing to take up the challenge. My consultant used to say that all the doctors have license to kill but don't ever use it. Life is so precious and please value it the way you value your own.
My second posting was Surgery. Again, I enjoyed the posting very much. I worked so hard and learned as much as possible. The HOD and the specialists were very nice and helpful. In the third month, I had a chance to do my very first appendicectomy. It was a successful one. I was so proud of myself. With the encouragement that I had from the specialists, I managed to do herniotomy and laparatomy with assistant. I did wound dressing on my own. Learned it from the nurses. I performed minor surgeries such as removing the lumps and bumps. Did I&D. It was fun.
Overall, my housemanship period was a memorable one. Even though I didn't get paid or call allowance like HO now, we still work with dignity and committed to the work and responsibility that was given to us without questions. I took my job as a doctor seriously. Most of all I love my work and want to do more to serve the people. For the young ones who are willing to take the challenge, you are welcome to be a doctor. You have to know that we are dealing with human being and not machine. If you harm them, you won't be able to replace them or reverse back. Spoiled engine can be replaced with a new machine but human life, no substitute.
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