Rabu, 18 Ogos 2010

Making the right choice

I love to share with my children and others what I have read in the book. Previously, I have no time to read other books than medical books. Now, I have a little bit of extra time, I want to improve my knowledge on the moral, social and emotional aspect of life. I want to improve myself in many areas that I feel a lot of deficiencies. I want to be a better person than what I am now. I want to do good to people who need my help because I know that the greatest good you can do for others is not to share your riches but to reveal to him or her his/her own. When we treat people with respect, indirectly we help them to gain confidence and reveal their inner potential. Everyone has the potential to become great or someone successful provided they believe in themselves and look at things in a positive manner. I remembered one quote by Lao-tzu saying "Knowing others is intelligent. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength and mastering yourself is true power". I really like this quote because I do believe that we have to know ourself first. Of course, knowing people around you is a bonus because it will help you to develop your inner power and determine your purpose. However, some of us rely too much on other people to make decision for us. Before he'she venture into something or making the most important decision in his/her life, rather than asking themselves what exactly they want, they will ask other people first, not really for opinion but asking others to make decision for them. Remember, mastering yourself is true power. Power doesn't have to show off. What its mean by power here is self confident, self-assuring, self-starting, self-stopping, self-warming and self-justifying. You will know when you have it. Most of us will be thinking "what people will say if I do this". We are trying very hard to please others rather than trying to please ourselves first. We should know what best for us. We are suppose to learn from people around us and decide what is the best for our future and not allowing the external forces to influence our decision. That was my advice to my niece Syimah sometimes ago when she was in great dilemma whether to do her master in US or to do master on the job. She asked many people for advice. Of course, she got many version of advices and opinions until at the end of the day she was still blur. Even worse when some of the remarks that she received from various people make her feel sad and miserable. She was still unable to choose which one to follow. Pressure all around and every corners of her. When she told me her problems and frustration, she was crying. At that time I knew that I have to do something about it. I gave my version of advice of course. Well, I am a very simple lady. I told her, it was up to her whether she want to follow my advice or vise versa. Thank God, being a smart girl, she made the right decision to continue working here and declined the offer to go abroad to further her study. She does her master locally as part time student. Now, she is in the second year and she is doing very well. It is tough but if she believe in herself, she will get what she wanted, insyaallah. I wasn't sure whether I told her or not that intelligent is just like a river. The deeper it is, the less noise it make. Just do whatever you think is right. Do you know 18/40/60 rule. I read about this rule somewhere, I can't remember. What it mean is "when you are 18, you are worry about what people thinking of you; when you are 40, you don't give a darn what anybody think of you; when you are 60, you realise that nobody's been thinking about you at all. So, don't waste your time trying to please others. Everything you do should be an expression of your purpose or destiny.

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