I grown up in the family full of love and happiness. I have 4 brothers who are always there for me, 2 elder sisters thats so kind and caring and 2 youngest sisters that always make me feel needed all the time. No doubt at this age, when all of us have grown up and have our own life, we do have misunderstandings once in a while or arguments, but when it come to making decision that related to the family matters, we are together. We put our differences aside. Of course we are free to say our views and opinions, we make the decision what is the best together. My mum and dad taught all of us to respect our eldest especially our brothers in whatever situation. All of us play our own roles. We don't really care who contributed most to the family. Who has more insight, time, money and think that you can do more than others, go ahead and the rest will acknowledge it accordingly. The question of "why it always me to do this" never arise because everyone know their responsibilities to the family. I guess my dad taught me well. I don't look back. Pass is pass. I always looking forward to the future. The only thing that I look back is to learn from the pass mistake so that there will be no same mistake. The only thing lacking in the teaching from my mom was how to find a good husband or wife I guess. All these we need to learn ourself and decide. My beloved mun and dad used to say, "we don't really care who you choose to be your husband or wife, as long as you feel that he or she is the best for you. We also don't care what colour or what race or from which state as long as he or she is a good muslim and can lead you". Kamu yang nak melayarkan bahtera, carilah nakhoda yang sesuai agar tidak tenggelam di kemudian hari. Well, there is a truth in it.
Most of us have our dream girl or guy to be our our lifelong partner. We normally will set a fairly high standard of a person that we want to be with. That's normal because we should love ourself more and give ourself a almost perfect man or girl in many ways. I think this is very important because if you set so low standard, it is easily achievable and you wont be happy. You have to value yourself and of course, you deserve a better person. Life partners is for lifelong. Most of us wanted the best for ourself because we value ourself very high and we should. But, in many circumstances, we cannot get 100% perfection of our choice. We fail to find someone that can fulfill all the criterias that we have set, 85% achievement will be fine. Even with this, occasionally after we make our commitment, we still fail. The life partner become a short one. The failure of making this important choice could have happened due to wrong assessment and judgement, too short time to evaluate the character of a person, changes that occur after being influenced by people around them. No matter how careful you make that choice, occasionally many people fail but of course the percentage of failure will be low compared to those who couldn't care less to make a choice. Probably the choice that we have made at that particular time was the best for us, but after so many years, we realized that the choice was a wrong choice. As muslim we have to believe in takdir. Ketentuan tuhan. God advice us to use our wise judgement to lead our life and follow the right patch. There are two words that we have to remember "tadbir and takdir". We tadbir our life according to our wisdom, intellegent, knowledge and experience but we have to accept "takdir" that determined by almighty GOD, Allah SWT. When we know this, than timbul lah perkataan "redha" if anything happen along the way, not the way you want it to be, we have to accept it with an open heart because we know GOD knows what is the best for you. You can get back to HIM and ask for HIS forgiveness and guidance because HE is always there for you. Occasionally, some people do say that they "redha" on what had happened to them but their action showed a different things where they developed "dendam dan prasangka dan lain-lain perasaan yang negatif". Kita perlu mengajar diri kita supaya lebih banyak bersabar kerana sebagai insan kita hanya merancang dengan kemas which is "tadbir" tetapi yang menentukan adalah tuhan yang maha pengasih lagi penyayang which is "takdir". Just think about it........
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